Here is a photo lf my family. These are four people in my family. They are my father, my mother, my brother and I.
My father is a doctor. He works in a hospital far away. He goes to work by subway. My mother is a teacher. She works in a school near my home. She goes to work by bike. After work, they like reading books. Who is the tall boy? He is my brother. He is five years older than me. He is a singer. He’s now in Beijing. He goes there by plane. I love my family.
【要领点评】
一个平凡的题材,一篇生动的作文。这样的命题,我们可能面对几次,甚至几十次了。但这位小朋友的笔端很是灵巧,了了数言,让一个幸福的家庭跃然纸上,很值得我们去思考,我们能做到吗?
小朋友的这篇作文除了语言优美之外,在结构上也有闪光之处。先总说,将自己的家人逐个介绍一遍,后分说,把家人的工作、上班方式,爱好一一细说。最后以一句话进行概括,起到点题的作用。我们在写类似的作文的时候是不是也可以借鉴呢?
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